Wandering, Meandering Thoughts into the Dark Realms of Depression and Suicide
Despair, Edvard Munch 1892
“So I hated life, because what is done under the sun was grievous to me, for all is vanity and a striving after wind.” - Ecclesiastes 2:17 (ESV)
Why do people kill themselves? The statisticians will tell you that suicide originates from one source of psychiatric malady or another, but they do not know the half of it. They don’t know the half of it, because they do not have the proper categories in their minds to think accurately concerning matters of life and death; and this, of course, is because they have been infected with the same empty secular worldview that leads to suicide.
The Christian Scriptures represent life as a positive good. In the beginning, God created, and therefore, life was. It was good, God thought it was good. God is life, He said so Himself (John 14:6). Everything that God is, is life; and that means that the one thing God isn’t is death. Death, according to the Scriptures, has an intimate relationship with sin. Sin, being vile, is very much opposed to God’s nature and character, which is holy. Therefore, we see before us life on one side, death on the other. Life is good, it is with God, but death is bad, it is with sin and the devil. The Bible tells a wonderful story about God coming to earth in the Person of His Son, named Jesus, with a peculiar and particular desire to destroy the devil (1 John 3:8) and death (1 Corinthians 15:54-56). His chief work, which also served as a demonstration of His success, was rising from the dead. His student, Peter, would later say, “God raised Him up, loosing the pangs of death, because it was not possible for him to be held by it” (Acts 2:24).
If our hero in this story, Jesus, defeated death, why then does death still exist? People die every day, including this one (maybe even someone you love). What the Bible tells us is that death is permitted for the time being, because this world is to continue for a while longer. God has plans and purposes in this world, and one of those plans is for His Son to destroy all of His enemies (Psalm 110:1), and we see that at the final consummation of the kingdom, death (the last enemy) will be totally destroyed (1 Corinthians 15:26).
To put these big ideas into simple words, the Christian story is one in which the glorious King Jesus slays the dragon, death. And He does it in His own time, and in His own way.
Sad to see, then, that the modern man has forgotten this. The enlightenment said farewell to kings, and embraced reason as the new sovereign. The greatest picture of this took place in Paris, where they dolled up the shame of some whore, worshipping her as “reason”. The preachers became further isolated, until they were labelled as fundamentalists, and no longer did anything divine have any real impact upon the world. And so, man forgot about his heroes, and his enemies. He doesn’t believe in dragons anymore. Sure, he’ll make television programs about them, but he has to make sure to include enough smut to hold his audience’s attention. We ran from God, abandoned our heroes, legends and enemies and are left naked and bare, and life became boring.
Life is boring and meaningless. There is no adventure anymore, the last of the blacksmiths lost his strength and the poets have lost their souls. And so, we have set up an endless series of repetitive, meaningless tasks that we call ‘work’, we plop ourselves in front of screens with no restraint holding us back from endless clicks that afford instantaneous pleasures, we send our children to government schools where they are told their lives mean nothing, and they are merely evolved beasts, the culture constantly pumps this message in their direction that the only thing worth living for is cheap, sensual pleasure and it’s all just so damn boring. It is God-damn boring because God damns it. And we hate it as well. And some, longing for the days of the kings and dragons, look longingly at the last remaining remnant of this bygone era, the one dragon that still breaths- death; groping for something to feel they embrace the power of this dragon (forgetting that he is the father of lies, and the one who started all this mess) and they kill themselves. And they kill themselves because they hate life, and they hate life because of what the dragon made it. It is a vicious cycle and we, as a society, are playing into his hands.
A young man sat in my office when time and asked if I had ever thought about suicide. A bold question, I thought, but one that deserved an honest answer. “Yes” I replied, honestly and soberly. It doesn’t trouble me to discuss such things because I’ve received divine light that allows to understand it all. If I look at the modern world, and everything that it offers, it seems to me suicide would be the logical, rational, reasonable conclusion. “Oh”, the psychiatrist says, “but there is so much to live for! Friends, people who love you, amazing experiences await! You are just so young, but one day you’ll understand.” Really? Friends who backstab you? Loved ones who lie and deceive? And what are these amazing experiences you tell me about? Processed foods, pornography and weed? Sure, I may be young, but why would I want another 60 years of this?
This is the vanity and foolishness of modern thinking. The psychiatrist was taught by a professor who mocked religious fairy tales, and so the psychiatrist does not believe in crazy stories about dragons. But they don’t realize that this is a dragon we are dealing with, death! But what have pagans always done? They turn to pharmakeia, and ancient word referring to sorcery and witchcraft, but since modern man doesn’t believe in those things anymore he refers to them as drugs (available at your local pharmacy). This numbs the pain, and tricks one into thinking they’ve slain the dragon, not recognizing that the demons they consult are his servants.
When we are dealing with such grand things we need a greater solution. When the dragon grows too mighty to slay with pen or sword, we must put our hope in a mighty warrior, courageous and powerful. There is an Ancient One who knows how to defeat the dragon, because He is far older. He remembers the day when the dragon was not. If you recall the story I told you earlier, Jesus really did defeat the dragon. Jesus is God, and therefore He has light and life, “In him was life, and the life was the light of men” (John 1:4). He has been saving men and women from the dragon for thousands of years, has yet to loose a single battle, and will keep on fighting until He has received His crown. “The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light” (Isaiah 9:2).
And though man (appropriately) hates the vanity of life (Ecclesiastes 2:17), when God shines His divine light upon them, they see the truth, the beauty, the glory, the adventure and the meaning of it all. “The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man” (Ecclesiastes 12:13).
My plea, dear reader, is for you to see that there exists a splendor that puts meaning and purpose into this life. Though the wise have forgotten, some of us have not. We’ve been enlightened by God’s truth, we’ve seen our Savior, and we’ve become conquerors with Him. Embrace the Lord Jesus Christ, who will cleanse your conscience of every sin, nailing it all to the cross. Find your duty, and find your calling. Fear God, serve Him and follow Him. There is so much to be done, and we need you.